How to see who is stalking you on Instagram?

Everybody does it. Stalking on Instagram. Be it your ex, someone you know of but don’t want to follow – chances are, know exactly what I am talking about.

Social media has taken over the world and during the last few years, the technological advancement in social media has been literally, out of this world. Every human being on Earth who has access to the internet, probably has a social media profile. Or two, or three.

Instagram is the most popular social media application. Not only since the inception of the Internet. Ever! Since the beginning of time. According to, it has an enormous number of monthly users – a staggering 1 billion, to be exact.


Instagram friends

The fact that Instagram is so popular stems from the initially photo-based app’s unique features like stunning, professional-looking filters for your photos, easy online liking and commenting capabilities at the touch of a button. Now, what could be more fun than seeing what all your friends and followers are up to?

Seeing what your enemies are up to

Strangely, though, there does not seem to be a lot of statistics about Instagram stalking and how to combat it. Even though the reason for this might not be obvious, I would ask the question: Is it not better the devil you know, than the one you don’t?

Instagram Demographics


Young adults use it every day and most of them are between the ages of 18-29-years old. Most of them are also active, online spenders – young people capable of making business and buying decisions on their own. Most famous bloggers, brands names, influencers and celebrities in the world, swear by it.

Instagram stalking

As humans, we are wired to want more, we are wired to become dissatisfied with what we have. Jealous of all the influencers, brands, models and gorgeously beautiful people on Instagram? No. Jealous of someone you know? No, not at all. Jealous of someone you know of? Jealous of your ex?

Instagram Stalking is considered ‘’easy’’

There is a weird psychology behind the act called stalking and once you understand it and know where it is coming from, you might have empathy with stalkers. We, as humans, love to watch, and we love to judge – some more than others. It’s a fact. We would rather sit quietly and watch other people, breaking them down, in order to bring them closer to our often very much lower level of self-esteem.

Especially if that someone else is more beautiful, slimmer, richer, or more famous than we are. Or if that someone was the person you were left for. Or the one that got away – so to speak. You see, hell hath no fury like a woman (or man) scorned.


No Instagram stalking to see here folks, move along!

For the sake of this analogy, let’s call ourselves the stalker and the person we are stalking, the stalkee. In the Instagram scheme of things, the online not-so realistic world, we would take sheer delight in the stalkee’s inability to drive a car - #accidentphoto. We often love it when #hateful stalkee didn’t get the #newjob.

We would jump with absolute glee when #hateful stalkee gets the same treatment we did from #ex-boyfriend, because then we have something to feel good about – the knowledge that we were right and that ultimately, leopards don’t change their spots. So it is better for our egos when stalkees get it rough, get hurt and ultimately get scorned too. That makes us feel soooo much better. The satisfaction of ‘’I told you so’’ – without having said anything to them 99% of the time.

More often than not, this #breakup between our ex and stalkee, stops the stalking for most of us. It gives us a sense of closure and it feels like this too, has come full circle. Normally this ends it for us, with the thought that this person, who stole our ex from us, got what they deserved, so we can now, finally, move on.


But Who is stalking me on Instagram?

Normally, this is what usually happens What if that is not the case? What if the negative, sordid outcome we were hoping for, never came?

According to anybody who knows Instagram like a normal user would, stalking on Instagram is one of the easiest things to do - and also one of the most addictive. Some websites and blogs say it is ‘’TOO EASY’’! You see, if you were a woman, you would hardly ever stalk someone you don’t know.

For the second analogy, let’s imagine that he left you for her. Okay, he didn’t physically leave you for her, but he met her while he was dating you and soon let you know he had ‘met someone else’.

Easy to do

Most stalking from women, stem from the core of a personal vendetta: For this analogy let’s imagine that technically, she didn’t actually ‘’steal’’ him from you – he left you – but it didn’t make it any better, any less sore. It still hurt you and it still hurt your pride. She needn’t have been where she was when he met her, yet she was there, so you still hate her and she must pay.

Easy to keep up

For the first while, you could get really obsessive and teary every time you see her Instagram profile, but that soon makes way for hateful vengeance and the you wanting to smash her perfect skinned face into a wall in your dreams - scenario. So after just a month or so of watching their profiles on Instagram without their knowledge, what happens then?

Habitually, you start doing it every morning, when you wake up. You ignore the Whatsapp messages that woke you up and go straight to her Instagram page. Because the perfectly made up Instagram pictures that you have been looking at since he left you for her, can’t really be how she looks, can it? Are her teeth always this white? Does she always look like she just stepped out of a grungey- art faire performance, boho-chic and long tendrils hanging in perfect symmetry? While you feel like a dead dog most of the time?

Simple thoughts start to enter your mind – what if they get married?!

Easy to not get caught stalking someone on Instagram

What if they get married, barefooted,, sand between their toes, in record time (your relationship lasted 5 years with no marriage proposal), on an exotic island (just like the two of you wanted!) and have 4 gorgeous, curly-locked, pink-footed bundles of joy, while looking like zero stretch-marked celebrity superstars ten minutes after the birth, all smiles and teeth.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, you are barefoot and pregnant (you wish) and seriously considering breaking into the local lesbian or gay scene, in order to just get some – be it attention, face punches or even flack, anything would be nice. Would you then be able to just let go and un-stalk? I don’t think so and according to Psychology today, this is just the beginning.


One day, you, being still half asleep – out of habit – like one of her pics!!!!

Would he know you were stalking him on Instagram?

Stalking is a standard piece of social media vocabulary nowadays. It’s something some people do, just like liking and commenting, stalking falls in line and is not often frowned upon. Some might call it ‘browsing’.

Many users have said that Instagram is the main cause for them not being able to have any privacy at all. Ultimately, the choice of having an Instagram account or not, is up to you the user, isn’t it?

How will I know?

Chances are, as I mentioned earlier, that if you have social media, you are being stalked. So how do you know? Well it is not as romantic as in the movies, I assure you. It is actually quite exhausting, unnerving and you can be somewhat traumatised in the beginning, by the fact that you have a stalker. When you find out, you will be shocked – believe me!

The internet knows more about you, than you know about yourself – and that’s a fact. Chances are that if you are a normal average internet user with a smartphone, personal email account, a few social media accounts like Instagram, and on other platforms, you are probably being stalked – and you don’t even know it.

Instagram knows all of our secrets, our habits particularly the people we love to like, and also those who love to stalk us. Many Instagram users believe that the people who populate at the top of their story viewers, are the ones stalking them. Maybe your crush is always at the top of your likes, or it could be your hero, maybe even your nemesis. It doesn’t matter who. According to Instagram, this is where you can find them.

Is it really that easy?

If you have a less intelligent-than-average stalker, it might be that they will like your posts and your photos just to show you that they are still there, lurking in the dark. This is psychological abuse and you must stop it immediately.

Clever stalker

But what if you have an intelligent stalker? One that never makes mistake, like liking your posts, your photos your stories. What then? One that just merely peruses and peruses….looks and looks and drools. One you don’t know about - AT ALL!

Making your settings private

It is totally possible to make your settings on Instagram private. The reason for this is to get rid of people bombing your profile and being able to see what you post. They would then need to follow you first, before they are able to see your pictures and your stories.


Lots of searching

That also means that unfortunately, if your long-forgotten friends are not sure of your hashtag, they might end up following the wrong person on Instagram. Especially, if their picture is really, really small. Or they might give up after a while if they are unable to find you. So basically, it depends on your priorities and if you want to be found, or not.

How to know who stalks your Instagram – really?

Making your settings private

It is totally possible to make your settings on Instagram private. The reason for this is to get rid of people bombing your profile and being able to see what you post, just because you have an Instagram account. They would then need to follow you first, before they are able to see your pictures and your stories. That also means that unfortunately, if you are not sure of your friend’s hashtag, you might follow the wrong person on Instagram, if their picture is really, really small.

Instagram has a feature called Instagram stories. It lists the people who have viewed your Instagram posts – your Instagram stories – your 24 hour posts. According to Instagram, this is the way to see who views your profile and if they are not on your followers list – Voila! your stalker is revealed.

Making your story public, allows anybody and everybody to view it. In their case, you will know that they went out of their way to physically t_y_p_e in your exact Instagram name, and search your name and view your story. Would anybody just type in a random name and search and view? I wouldn’t have the time, quite frankly. But a dedicated stalker might.

So one specific name pops up one day and you don’t take much notice of it, as it is just a random guy who viewed your Instagram story. A few weeks pass, and then it pops up again!. You have this weird feeling.


Okay, maybe he searched you again. Maybe he has a friend with the same name as you do? Sit up and take notice. Chances are if the name is female, it will be someone you know. If the name is male, it will probably not be someone you know - and that’s actually really, really bad.

You are able to see who is stalking you, but it does take some investigation. Once you have all your friends on your Instagram, following you, I would then suggest you make your settings private. I would suggest you actually just stop everything you’re doing and do it right now.

Finding your stalker

How to find who is stalking you is not always such an easy task and it is harder than it actually looks. First of all, put up lots of photo’s on Instagram. If you have an app - use it! Then see who views your continuous stream of photo’s - your story. The people on the top of the list, according to Instagram, are the people who view your profile the most and your story the most.

Apps to see who your stalker is

There are many apps to see who stalks your Instagram, but unfortunately they might not all work. I admit, it is much, much easier to just pay for and download an app than doing a long investigation with the statistics of the users who viewed your story. It would probably depend on the time and your inclination. Personally, I wouldn’t mind a free app that tells you who has been stalking you on Instagram - a free app that actually works - but one can only dream...

Stalk back

There are many horrific stories on the internet about stalkers and how they found their victims, stalked them, harassed them beforehand, after having the guts to actually put up a comment on a photo, when they weren’t following the person on Instagram.

They then do it more frequently, and even start sending private messages on your chat, on Instagram. Most of the stories ended up with having to contact the Police, due to the seriousness of the crimes and the extent of intruding on the Instagram users’ privacy.

If you look at many of these stories as a whole, it might seem that these incidents and crimes could have been avoided, to a certain extent. After all, al the tools are available to an Instagram user - why not just use them and stay safe?

Think like a Stalker

Yes! Think like a sicko-stalker, I’m afraid.

In order to catch a criminal or to stay ahead of one, you need to think like one, especially if you think you are already being stalked. That is not always possible, as most of us ‘’normal’’ internet users have no idea to stalk somebody.

Get yourself an app to see if anyone is stalking you. I think you will be surprised. Paid apps are much better, in my opinion. Most of them come with a money back guarantee, in case you are not satisfied

I have made a list of what I would do, in order to keep my Instagram profile safe. I suggest you utilise these tools - most of them are free - in order to keep yourself safe and your children safe. This list is not in any order of importance but just a random list that I think, can help keep you safe on Instagram.

Do’s and Do-Not’s

Use these tips, or don’t use them, it’s up to you, but ultimately, try to stay safe out there!


Lucas Martley